Forever Angel
by bookish-gurl024
Summary: Saying goodbye is one of the things I regret doing... But saying goodbye in a letter is the thing I regret doing the most.. DG.. This is NOT a one-shot.. COMPLETED
1. July 15, 2000

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Absolutely nothing. None. Nada. Zip. If I did, I would have at least bought myself a decent computer. LOL  
  
Let me be the one to break it up,  
  
So you won't have to make excuses  
  
We don't need to find a setup where  
  
Someone wins and someone loses  
  
We just have to say our love was true,  
  
But has now become a lie  
  
So I'm telling you I love you one last time  
  
And goodbye...  
  
-Let Me Be the One, Jimmy Bondoc  
  
July 15, 2000  
  
Ginny,  
  
I'm VERY VERY SORRY.  
  
I'm sorry since I told you we have to break up. I feel that nothing was going to happen to us. I felt that I was really holding you down. Nobody knows how I feel NOBODY. I hope that you have at least an inkling of how I feel. I felt I was hindering you from a good and happy life. I felt that I was wasting your time for a relationship.  
  
I have moved on,. I don't think you would like what I'm about to say. Yes, I have found another... As much as it hurts to say it, I have indeed found her. I feel that I can give her something and she to me. I feel that we could be together and really give the relationship more meaning... I love you and loved you.... But I feel for someone now...  
  
If I didn't feel for you, then I wouldn't have the guts to tell you this. I can't even start to explain how much grief I'm feeling while writing this. I can't even start to tell you how much tears are currently falling. I can't explain how I feel. I have been undeciphered before and I remain the same. I do not even understand myself.  
  
I plan to live my life and I hope that this relationship will bring enlightenment. I hope you find someone who will give you everything I wasn't able to give you.  
  
Go live your life. Hate me if you want. I didn't mean to hurt you and I still don't. I want to be as honest as I can be. Please understand.  
  
Please live your life, as you would have done without me.  
  
Please do this for me and for yourself. Thanks.  
  
"I miss him, and all the things he could do  
  
Yes I miss him, just as much as I miss you  
  
I miss him, I know you're wondering who,  
  
I miss him, I miss the man that I was with you..."  
  
I love you, Ginny. And I'm sorry. I just don't know what I'm feeling right now.  
  
-Draco  
  
P.S.  
  
Her name is Alexia. Alexia Clavis.  
  
A/N: The poem in the last part of the letter is actually a song. It's "The Man I Was With You" by Jimmy Bondoc. Thanks to my beta Shalei... Also known as monapunk... But to me, she is my Aleli... glomps Thanks a bunch! Muwa!!! 3  
  
Please R&R! This is my first time to write a story, so please be gentle, kay? ï Watch out for the next chapter.... (there's more!) 


	2. August 27, 2000

Disclaimer: I don't own anything... JKR owns 'em all, except for the plot and Alexia. So don't sue me, 'kay?

* * *

_Heaven knows what to say_

_Even though for right now_

_You're so far away_

_I hope and I pray_

_Somewhere in your heart I'll always stay_

_Girl, lately_

_My sun doesn't shine without you_

_Never noticed_

_What it feels like to be without you_

_Feels like I took my last step_

_And my last breath and my life ended_

_Had to say just what I was feeling, girl_

'_Cause my sun doesn't shine,_

_Sun doesn't shine without you_

Without You, Charlie Wilson

----------------------------------

August 27, 2000

Gin,

I know you received my last letter. But it's okay that you didn't reply. I would have been shocked if you did. You have a right to be angry with me, I know that.

Please Gin, I know you loved me, I just didn't know if we were both holding on to the last thread pf the almost hopeless relationship. I'm about to cry now. Funny, how much I've changed since I was with you. I cry all the time now. Why, a Malfoy, a crybaby? It would be tomorrow's headlines if anybody found out...

Ginny, I still feel for you.... In layman's terms I STILL LOVE YOU... I don't know just how to hold on... Everyday I keep on longing for you... To this day, the longing is unbearable. How about tomorrow? It makes me wonder if I should go through another day....

Well, sad to say but Alexia and I are officially an item. Time flies so fast. Why am I sad? That I've been asking myself, too... But I can never get answers...

I promised myself not to fall for anyone else but I did. I promised myself that I would never forget you because whatever I may say, I cannot deny that you have been a major part of this frustrating life of mine... And so I keep you in the deepest portion of my heart... I love you, but I'm starting to fall for Alexia too... Confusing... I feel very awkward saying this, but I try to be as honest as possible. Most especially, if it involves my loved one, what more if there's two?!

Anyway, I love you.

I STILL LOVE YOU.

I hope you understand that. Please still be my angel and my Angel in every little way. I'm crying now...the tears that threatened to spill a while ago are going down already... First tear down, lots more to follow... I'm such a crybaby, huh? Till next time, my Angel...

I LOVE YOU.

-Draco

* * *

A/N: please be kind and Review! thanks! 


	3. October 9, 2000

Disclaimer: I still own nothing... **sighs** Oh, well... A girl can dream, huh?

* * *

_Do you ever think about me?_

_Do you every cry yourself to sleep?_

_In the middle of the night when you're awake_

_Are you calling out for me?_

_Do you ever reminisce?_

_I can't believe I'm acting like this_

_I know it's crazy_

_How I can still feel your kiss_

_It's been 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours since you went away _

_I miss you so much and I don't know what to say_

_I should be over you_

_I should have known better but it's jus not the case _

_It's been 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours since you went away_

--6, 8, 12, Brian McKnight

* * *

October 9, 2000

Angel,

I'm really REALLY SORRY.

Until now, I know that though I apologize over a thousand times, it would be useless. It wouldn't compare with all the grief and pain I've caused you.

Remember the night we broke up? I was crying so hard. Harder than I ever had in my whole life... From what I've heard, you cried a lot as well... I'm sorry for that angel...

After that night, I would lock myself up in my room for hours... I would just lie there in my bed and stare at the ceiling... Just that... No matter how hard I try to resist, the tears just come on freely... You know me, proud and snobby on the outside (and yes, I admit it) but really weak on the inside.

You know me better than I do, Angel. I am weak. I cannot stand pain; I cannot bear the hurt feeling all by myself... I need you, Gin...

I know that I was the bad half of our relationship. That's the main reason why I chose not to carry on with it. I felt that I was ruining your life... I thought that I was hurting you and it would be better to just let go and save you from the pain I would've caused.

I always told myself that it would be okay for you to find a new man in your life... (Scarhead, perhaps?) But , no... it hurts... The very thought of someone else being with you burns a hole right through my chest...

But, if there is someone who can take my place, I hope he can give you what I have given you. And more... I hope he can fulfill all my shortcomings,

I have given you the finest luxuries money can buy, but I know I failed abysmally in fulfilling my duties as your other half...

I have given you nothing but words... Not even a simple touch, hug, kiss or anything for the fear of being found out... Honestly, yes, we had some of that sort but it was always in hiding... We were to pretend that we hated each other as a show... I never even stood up for what we had. Furthermore, all my words are written and never spoken...

It hurts so much when I think of all the things I've done to make you happy, and come up with nothing... It hurts so much that when I think of all I could've given and could've done for us and find out there's so many... Too much to count... The guilt is amounting to such altitude that I cannot bear to think of it anymore...

I loved you so much that I wanted to hurt myself. That I wanted to punish myself for my insolence... My ignorance... My imperfection... My lack of devotion... Many times I tried to end my life, but I cannot do it. I am such a coward Gin... After all, I never had that Gryffindor quality of bravery or things of that sort... It was only you who made me stronger and made me whoever I can be...

Ginny, please still be my angel... Please... I love of and I'll love you always... Always...

­

-Draco


	4. December 19, 2000

Disclaimer: JKR owns everything... I only own Alexia and the plot... So, don't sue me, okay?

* * *

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now  
And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
'Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight  
And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
_

_--Iris, Goo Goo Dolls _

* * *

December 19, 2000

Ginny,

This will be one of the shortest letters I have ever written... But, please... Please, listen to what I have to say...

Gin, I love you.... I always have... I would do anything just to have you back in my life... Please say you still love me... Please...

Ginny, grant me this last favor... Please, please I need to hear from you that you still love me... That you need me, too...

Please Angel, tell me you still need me, that you still love me... I promise you, everything will change... I will be the world's greatest man. I will be the perfect person for you, and only you.... I will fight for what I was afraid to fight for before... Say you still want me back into your life...

Ginny, please... Just this once, please write back... I'm begging you... I wish you could see me right now... I'm crying again...

Please, Angel... Please... Say you still love me... It's not yet too late... Please... Even for the last time, say you love me... Please... I LOVE YOU...

-Draco


	5. March 20, 2001

Disclaimer: Until now, I don't own anything... Oh well, that's life...

A/N: At the end, okay ï 


	6. Epilogue

Disclaimer: Until the end, I own nothing... Oh well, life goes on...

A/N: Finally, I got around to updating this thing! My computer sorta went berserk and I was kinda busy with school wrok so I barely had time to update,but anyway.. here it is!

This will be absolutely the last chapter. I wasn't planning on writing this but my beta wanted me to do one... Since I really adore her, I did this for her! The song in the last part is Kyla's version of Till They Take My Heart Away...ï 


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